I wanted

I wanted
That stuff
Company I enjoyed
Fresh air
And a good view
And children who called me mister

But

We grow up making do
With what is available

So

Friends were
Accidents
And love was a desperate plea
To satisfy a craving
With whatever was for sale

My life, I realized too late
Was lived in a discount store
And my living room was filled with
Hand me downs
Abandoned ideas
And half eaten recipes

The music
Never made it out of my head
And the tune I whistle
Through crooked lips
Is out of breath

So I look at the phone
With lots of people to call
But no one to talk to

As my heart
Congested with the plaque of waiting
Struggles to beat

As the sun goes down

©05.31.2017 ebn

The cut of a man

The stars cracked
And slid down the wall of the sky
Like dying tears
After gunshots

And though I was dressed presentably
I was fixated on catching the tail of that damned devil
Like I had just been born
Stuffed into a body too big to be loved
And hated
Because God chose to climb in there with me
While the jealous
spit

Even as I tapped my heel
To a rhythm – a holy ghost
That spoke like
Some invisible graffiti
Tattooed to a soul
That won’t sit still

Each one of them, my daddy
Hiccups from angels
The last raindrops of a raging storm
Kissing me goodnight
With swollen hearts

Choking on life
Plucked vines possessed with drunken deity
Knotted around necks
And pulled tight
Into pendulums

Flying to hell
From groaning limbs
Telling time
To stop
One too many times

©05.24.2017

The ball

On a great volume of breathing water
I waited for eyes to find me
Sentimental hands to reach out and
Rescue me from my listless boredom

The high ceilings of the cloudscape
Easily accommodated the flocks of thoughts
Lifted from me by the salt water like fingerprints
As I slipped over the slopes of each wave

Beneath me flowing fields of water grasses
Waved at me from just beneath the glassy surface
Offering me the illusion
That I was free and flying again

©05.23.2017 ebn

Love like

love like
sticky syrup fingers
hands don't shake
don't pick up
don't touch...

you got to
(and you bet not say this out loud)
suck 'em awhile
or wash 'em really good
before you use 'em again.

©05.22.2017

We black in corners

we black in corners
when lights off
whispering, mumbling
and talking shit
armed and ready to
throw them thangs
when shit done gone
too far
(we are?)
less the hammer white
and all that bangin
got an official permit
that won't quit until the job is done
and the last one
is you

©05.22.2017

A pack of dogs

a pack of dogs
salivating across the street
tongues wagging in frothy mouths
about how you made them groan
when you walked away

looked hard but
never saw you
never carried groceries for your grandmother
never held the door open for your mother
or brought you bouquets of dandelions

they buzzed around my ear
like summer bees
asking for directions
so they could make honey
from your flower

but never saw their sister
in your eyes, your smile, your laughter
never listened to you hum a tune
while hanging laundry in the backyard
never listened to your poetry
when you said grace

those other boys
would drop their heads
when your daddy came around
and never said, “good morning, sir.”
Or “good morning” to you, for that matter.

©05.22.2017

Art class

my footprint in the mud
kissed the earth
dried in the sun
bore witness that I was
old

i held fire
at the end of a stick
eyes and lungs burning
challenging wild and hungry beasts

but the wind came
blew out the fire
erased my footprints
and took me away

now i scrawl my memories
like graffiti on this white wall
angry desperate and afraid

so that souls who survive
will be agitated
to run in the rain
stretch in the sun
and let me breathe again

©05.22.2017 ebn

Sunlight

Cleanliness is next to godliness
And like the moor boy who caught death of cold
When his master scrubbed him throughout the night
To remove the blackness from his soul

Now you do your best to scrub yours away,
The color of your mind, to be white
For there is nothing cleaner than
The darkness giving way to the light

But your definitions are artificial
The books you’ve read from are a fraud
I hate to say it, but you’ve been hoodwinked
They’ve even replaced your God

And I know some of you can’t hear that
That it’s too late in the game for you
That what you’ve believed for all of your life
Must somehow, in someway be true

This idea of redemption
From the sins of survival is suspicious
Is my blackness a mark denying me justice
For which I should ask forgiveness?

You can keep on playing these color games
The cursed, the wretched, and the fool
But you will never learn the truth
As long as you’re in their school

The tongue that we speak wasn’t always
The language of satan
We’ve forgotten our ancestral words
That gave us our dominion

We’ve been cheated of our birthright
Our inheritance has been sacked
We are unwanted guests in our own home
Serving looters, liars, and savages

There is no coming to terms with them
For centuries they’ve made themselves clear
Their fate was sealed by their own hand
And now the end is here.

©05.11.2017 ebn

Take a child

Take a child from its mother early enough
And you can impress on it the world you wish for it to see

You can tell it how the world is supposed to be
You can tell it anything and it will believe

Eagles raised with chickens will peck for dusty seeds
And a full-grown elephant will never test its leash

Shaking our heads we pity those poor beasts
But never consider that we too have been deceived

We pay for water

Take a child from its father early enough
And you can teach it fear and hopelessness

You can teach it your religion and which god to impress
And it will gladly sell its birthright for your respect

Shaking our heads we pity those wretches
But never consider that we too have been misled

We prefer food laced with poison

Take a child from itself early enough
And you can tell it what it is and how it will continue

You can frame its entire life inside your will to do good
And it will be grateful for anything you offer as food

Shaking our heads we pity those that are duped
But never consider that we too have been fooled

We walk around with airs

©05.10.2017 ebn

Love is a losing game

Love is a losing game

The strained chords of my aching heart
Squeak and groan the unintelligible words
Of some begging protest
Against being left alone
Too late

The strings of our history
Once divinely braided, got tangled
In too much busyness, a mess of confusion
Reaching over and taking from each other
Tightening the knots of a frustration
We’d eventually have to cut
To be free from

And so I lost you
Cutting too deep, too far,
Too much

Our once beautiful flower
Wilted, petals falling away
From my shaking hands
Spilled tears

Blinded with grief
I walk into the morning sun without you
The new day tearing into my face
With its cold tongue
And ignorant sympathies

Love is a losing game.

©05.08.2017

Cupid’s dog

Looking for love in all the wrong places
Hitting the clubs for hos to erase this
Urge to devour,

The loneliest hour
Is like a blood red moon calling beasts to power

Little lambs in the house with their tight ass dresses
On display, a la carte, their expensive tresses

Nothing more than a leash to attract the senseless
The meat may be sweet but it ain’t defenseless

Teasing hungry animals with fakes and fawns
Fooling amateurs with promises that break at dawn

Small talk gets attention, keeps them in control
Laughing at the puppies as their stomachs growl

Surrounded by the harmless they take back their time
Whether imbibing on hard liquor or just sipping wine

The music camouflages all the fear and lust
Party lights confuse the eyes about what they can trust

While the wolves fix their eyes on the meat that’s raw
I sniff the air for a healthy specimen to gnaw

Don’t need a death wish looking for some ecstasy
But a runner guaranteed to make it hard for me

I want to hear that whimper when she knows she’s caught
Feel her heartbeat racing, terrified and hot

Last call and I’m packaging my meal for tonight
Lights on and we’re off to satisfy appetites

Gonna smash it like a burger when I’m starving to death
Toss the wrapper on the floor when I’m all out of breath

Sweep the trash right out of the door
And change the sheets on the bed
Wash, rinse, and repeat until the day that I’m dead

©05.08.2017 ebn

Oh to own my own Starbucks

Oh to own my own Starbucks
or corner bakery
a neighborhood consignment shop
or an art gallery

If I could guarantee the rent
I'd have to pay to sell my goods
a steady base of customers
from outside of my neighborhood

then I could finally live the dream
and smile with every sale
the music of my register
ensuring I won't fail

I wouldn't need to worry bout
no strong armed robberies
I'd have a great relationship
with the local police

I'd hire those in need of work
in my community
I couldn't offer benefits
but coffee would be free

as far as pay, I'd guarantee
more than minimum wage
and I would not discriminate
based on color, sex, or age

but I cannot get a loan
no matter where I go
so I sell CDs from my trunk
til I can raise the dough.

©05.05.2017 ebn

In the quiet of the room

In the quiet of the room
Colors covered for the night
My thoughts unfold, an evening bloom
Coaxed forth by the faintest light

A kaleidoscope of butterflies
Shadows stirring in the dark
Whispering both truth and lies
To seed my dreams with any spark

And seated with a patient ear
My conscience watches homeless thoughts
That flare and fade and disappear
Trying their luck at being caught

And somewhere in their fluttering
A treasure takes its time to grow
A song that I should love to sing
A melody I want to know

And just as I pick up the tune
I slip away, the world released
But don't look for me past the moon
I'm not that far, not in the least.

©05.04.2017 ebn

Last moments we cannot keep

If there was a pause button
I could press
Between now and your last breath
The second hand waiting
My grief would burn out
And grow stale
Afraid of tomorrow
Until my hurt fell away
Like a dead flower petal

©05.03.2017